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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

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    Available in PDF - DJVU Format | Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls.pdf | Language: ENGLISH
    Rachel Simmons(Author)

    Book details


When boys act out, get into fights, or become physically aggressive, we can't avoid noticing their bad behavior. But it is easy to miss the subtle signs of aggression in girls--the dirty looks, the taunting notes, or the exclusion from the group-that send girls home crying. In Odd Girl Out, Rachel Simmons focuses on these interactions and provides language for the indirect aggression that runs through the lives and friendships of girls. These exchanges take place within intimate circles--the importance of friends and the fear of losing them is key. Without the cultural consent to express their anger or to resolve their conflicts, girls express their aggression in covert but damaging ways. Every generation of women can tell stories of being bullied, but Odd Girl Out explores and explains these experiences for the first time. Journalist Rachel Simmons sheds light on destructive patterns that need our attention. With advice for girls, parents, teachers, and even school administrators, Odd Girl Out is a groundbreaking work that every woman will agree is long overdue.

When boys act out, get into fights, or become physically aggressive, we can't avoid noticing their bad behavior. But it is easy to miss the subtle signs of aggression in girls--the dirty looks, the taunting notes, or the exclusion from the group-that send girls home crying. In Odd Girl Out, Rachel Simmons focuses on these interactions and provides language for the indirect aggression that runs through the lives and friendships of girls. These exchanges take place within intimate circles--the importance of friends and the fear of losing them is key. Without the cultural consent to express their anger or to resolve their conflicts, girls express their aggression in covert but damaging ways. Every generation of women can tell stories of being bullied, but Odd Girl Out explores and explains these experiences for the first time. Journalist Rachel Simmons sheds light on destructive patterns that need our attention. With advice for girls, parents, teachers, and even school administrators, Odd Girl Out is a groundbreaking work that every woman will agree is long overdue.

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Book details

  • PDF | 304 pages
  • Rachel Simmons(Author)
  • Harcourt; 1 edition (April 30, 2002)
  • English
  • 2
  • Medical Books

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Review Text

  • By Ms. Bohemian on July 9, 2017

    I understand there are not a lot of books published about the phenomenon of girl bullying, but I was actually disappointed in this book. Especially after reading such rave reviews. The book is mostly a retelling of story after story of girl bullying. While that can be validating to read, I was really hoping for actual advice, & strategies for navigating situations with a child who is being bullied. I didn't really seem to find that in this book. Of note, there was just a brief sentence mentioned around the idea that extracurricular activities or some type of hobby could counteract the effect of being bullied. I hope that the author in the future could develop that idea, or perhaps add an amendment to her book that included more strategies for parents to help their children. Especially since parents or the first line of defense against a child being bullied.

  • By BR on November 11, 2017

    Odd Girl Out, a book originally introduced on the OPRAH SHOW with the then grown women who were the “BULLIES” in high school and junior high/middle school. Thes, now adult women, expressed regret over their behavior when they were younger. This is a MUST READ for EVERY parent of daughters AGES 11 - 18 and school teachers of those ages. Odd Girl Out gave me insights into my students’ behavior when I was teaching middle school.Unlike boys who may settle their differences physically and then move on, girls who bully leave EMOTIONAL SCARS which can follow the bully and especially the victim into adulthood.Bully may be the wrong term here, since often it is more subtle, i.e. a group of friends suddenly leaving one from there group suddenly without EXPLANATION, out of their activities - sitting together at lunch.

  • By Don J on August 5, 2017

    If you are a man seeking to understand why the woman you love has found herself cast out of a group, or if you want to understand your teenage daughter's challenges to forming long lasting friendships.Or if you are wondering how you ended up in the middle of a conflict with no idea how to help either side.This book was very revealing to me.

  • By Mark Oestreicher on May 27, 2008

    i'm not sure how i missed this book. it was published in 2002, and is absolute must reading for EVERY youth worker (male or female) and every parent of a girl.it's a tough read and an easy read. easy, because simmons is an excellent writer and fills the book with real stories of real girls. tough, because the real girls she profiles reveal a profile of aggression (almost universally experienced) that is so painful, so destructive, it's difficult to read (especially if you care about teenage girls).i had a great chat with my 13 year-old daughter, liesl, after reading this book. she was very open about how girls treat each other. i may be fooling myself, but i do think that liesl's private school (a waldorf school, which is particularly nurturing and has no tolerance for mistreatment) protects her from the fullest extent of what this behavior would look like in the vast majority of schools. in fact, i could easily see liesl being the aggressor (the rumor-creator, the silent treatment-giver, the "we don't like you" club-originator), were she in a different context.the book talks at length about why this alternative aggression is so commonplace amongst girls. it also talks about why schools are so poor at addressing it. it's a bit light on suggestions for what we all (who care about girls) can do about it - but there is some of this, especially near the end of the book.given my passion for early adolescent ministry, i was intrigued to read that this behavior is at its peak during the young teen years. the author focuses all of her research on girls from 5th grade through 9th grade, with the "sweet spot" (bad choice of words, i suppose) between 11 and 14.here's one particular paragraph i found fascinating: at first glance, the stories of girls not being allowed to eat at the lunch table, attend a party, put their sleeping bag in the middle, or squeeze inside a circle of giggling girls may seem childish. yet as carol gilligan has shown, relationships play an unusually important role in girls' social development. in her work with girls and boys, she found that girls perceive danger in their lives as isolation, especially the fear that by standing out they will be abandoned. boys, however, describe danger as a fear of entrapment or smothering. this contrast, gilligan argues, shows that women's development "points toward a diffrerent history of human attachment, stressing continuity and change instead of replacement and seperation. the primacy of relationship and attachment in the female life also indicates a different experience of and response to loss. the centrallity of relationship to girls' lives all but guarantees a different landscape of aggression and bullying, with its own distinctive features worthy of seperate study.

  • By ORI on July 17, 2016

    My 8 yr old girl had a period of the whern she suffered severe headache. It was very not charachtaristic of her. I took her to see the family Doctor, with the intention not to get out of his office without a referal to a brain c.t.The smart Doctor looked at her, and started asking her questions about her best friends and social life at school. Later he preffered me to this book.I went home and read it and it opened my eyes I shared it with my wife, and started talking with my daughter, trying to understand more. Aparantly there is a dominant girl in her class, which applies social aggression on all her surrounding. Many other girls were involved but the silence was broken only when more and more parents talked about it. The book was acurate in both the phenomena and how to handle it. This book is an eye opened and a good guide for parents in sla similar situation.

  • By Emily Dimov Gottshall on March 12, 2016

    Too wordy, not enough how to help and felt like it needed heavy editing to get to the point. Otherwise, I enjoyed the help parts, once I found them in the back chapters of the book.

  • By barb g on September 20, 2015

    This book is an eye opener - even though I experienced the reality of mean girl behaviors (to me and by me); I didn't know how to articulate and process it in a healthy way with my own daughter who was was definitely the Odd Girl Out in Middle School. Now that she is in HS, the maturing of her peers has improved the issue, but the maturity in her along with the content of this book gave her skills to manage it. I have given school principals and deans copies - one actually read it and had good feedback.It is a reality our girls face - it is hard to address, we have to support and advocate for them.


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